Dating Profile Fix: No Baggage, No Exes!
May 5, 2009 by E. Foley · Comments Off
You want to know your dealbreakers when it comes to relationships. However, there’s a difference between knowing them and being nasty about them.
Welcome to the Daily Fix, where we take snippets from real dating profiles and changes the names to protect the not-so-innocent.
Today’s subject is a 40-something man we’ll call Xavier.
Before:
I am also not looking for anyone who has any baggage. Ex Husbands, definately not interested. Sorry, could be harsh, but it’s my truth.
What This Says:
This says exactly what it says. The sad thing, Xavier, is that you’re in your 40s. The chance of finding a woman who has never been married is much slimmer than it was when you were in your 20s. In fact, by their 40s, you may find women who are widows. (Especially true since we have a war going on.)
It’s fine to list your preference for mates as “Never Married.” Just understand that baggage can come from all sorts of places and a former marriage may not be one of them.
The Fix:
It’s my dream to find my match – a woman who has been waiting her whole life for the perfect man and just hasn’t found him yet. I’ve been waiting 46 years – what about you? Isn’t it time we found each other?
Seen a bad profile recently? (Maybe your own?) Email it to me and it may be featured on an upcoming Daily Fix.
Dating Profile Fix: Not-so-Thrilling Thrill Seeker
May 4, 2009 by E. Foley · Comments Off
One of the age old snippets of advice for writing is: “Don’t tell – show.” This advice can go a long way in writing your best online dating profile.
Welcome to the Daily Fix, where we take snippets from real dating profiles and changes the names to protect the not-so-innocent.
Today’s subject is a 40-something man we’ll call Warren.
Before:
I can sometimes be a thrill seeker and enjoy traveling and trying new things.
What This Says:
Not much. Let’s just take “thrill seeker” as an example. That could mean any number of things:
- He likes roller coasters.
- He likes to eat weird foods like that Fear Factor stuff.
- He likes to drive his car way faster than the speed limit.
- He skydives on the weekends.
- He engages in lots of unprotected sex.
I’m sure there are thousands of other “thrill seeker” activities. Some of them are fun, some are not so fun (or legal). What Warren needs to do here is clarify exactly what kind of thrills he likes. This gets women engaged in his story – which is exactly what he wants!
The Fix:
You could call me a thrill seeker – or maybe just a speed seeker. I’m good with my car (no tickets, Mom!) but I’m a sucker for a great roller coaster. I love the old wooden roller coasters, but am enamored with the technology behind all the newest thrill rides. I could spend a whole day at the theme park just riding coasters!
That says a LOT more than just “I’m a thrill seeker.” Women who like roller coasters will be clicking the “Email me!” button. Women who would have moved on because they had a “thrill seeker” of an unsafe variety in the past will know exactly what kind of thrills make Warren happy. Win-win!
Seen a bad profile recently? (Maybe your own?) Email it to me and it may be featured on an upcoming Daily Fix.
Dating Profile Fix: ALL CAPS NO PUNCTUATION MAN
April 24, 2009 by E. Foley · Comments Off
The internet has been around for a while. Those of us who have been keeping up with the Fashion Train know that we should never use ALL CAPS when typing. We also know to use punctuation. But sadly, not everyone is on the train…
Welcome to the Daily Fix, where we take snippets from real dating profiles and changes the names to protect the not-so-innocent.
Today’s subject is a barely legal male we’ll call Quinn.
Before:
I JUST LOOKIN FOR SOMEONE WHO CAN KEEP IT REAL BEST BELIEVE IM GOING KEEP IT REAL I LIKE AN OUT GOING PERSON AND SOMEBOBY WHO LIKE HAVING FUN AND KNOW WHAT TEY WANT IN LIFE AND SOMEONE OF GOT A GOOD HEAD ON THEIR SHOULDER…
What This Says:
It’s taken me several read-throughs to figure it out. I can’t focus on ALL CAPS to be able to read what he’s saying. Let me type it out for you all normal:
I just lookin for someone who can keep it real best believe Im going to keep it real i like an out going person and someboby who like having fun and know what tey want in life and someone of got a good head on their shoulder.
You know, that still doesn’t make much more sense. Perhaps I am too old to understand the lingo. (Is 30 old?)
The Fix:
Quinn’s profile could at least stand to have proper spelling, grammar, and punctuation. He can keep his hip lingo (since he probably wants a girl who shares the same vibe).
I’m looking for someone who can keep it real. Believe me that I’m going to keep it real, too. I like an outgoing girl who likes to have fun, but also knows what she wants in life. She’s a party girl with her head on her shoulders.
Still Quinn, just much easier to read.
Seen a bad profile recently? (Maybe your own?) Email it to me and it may be featured on an upcoming Daily Fix.
Dating Profile Fix: Finish Strong!
April 20, 2009 by E. Foley · Comments Off
Every once in a while I run into a profile where I’m thinking, “Yes, yes, yes…” because it’s pretty good. Then I read an ending that makes me sigh. Nooo.
Welcome to the Daily Fix, where we take snippets from real dating profiles and changes the names to protect the not-so-innocent.
Today’s subject is a 40-something male who we’ll call Marcus.
Before:
You should message me if you think I am attractive or interesting or charming. Seriously, what are the consequences of saying hello? I love meeting new people and I might turn out to be someone fun to talk to or whine to or laugh with. I could also turn out to be a turn off but at least you said hi to a stranger. You can’t meet people if you never say hello.
What This Does:
Marcus had a very strong, witty, funny, and generally great profile before this bit at the end. He had a nice confident vibe going. The paragraph here dilutes it by admitting he may be a turn-off.
Marcus, if you are a turn-off, the lady wouldn’t have gotten this far down your profile. Have some faith and finish strong.
A Better Ending:
You should message me if you think I am attractive, interesting or charming. I love meeting new people and you may just find me to be that person who fits your life perfectly. Go on, say hi to a stranger. You never know who you may meet.
Seen a bad profile recently? (Maybe your own?) Email it to me and it may be featured on an upcoming Daily Fix.
Dating Profile Fix: Get a Little Help From Your Friends!
April 17, 2009 by E. Foley · Comments Off
OkCupid is infamous for their super-long profiles. There’s a category for everything you could possibly want to know about someone. So what happens when you don’t know an answer?
Welcome to the Daily Fix, where we take snippets from real dating profiles and changes the names to protect the not-so-innocent.
Today’s subject is a 30-something male we’ll call Lamar.
Before:
Here’s what Lamar wrote for “The First Thing People Notice About Me“:
i have no clue
What This Says:
“I have no friends.”
“There’s nothing unique about me.”
What Should He Do?
Lamar, here is where you need to talk to some of your friends. It’s pretty easy.
Say: “Hey (insert friend name here), what did you first notice about me when we met?”
Hopefully they say something nice like “your bright red hair” or “your big smile” or “your laugh.” If they say, “The girl you were dating was hot!” or “That you can really hold your liquor!” maybe you should move on to a different friend.
Either way, do some market research! Find out how other people perceive you and use it to your advantage.
Seen a bad profile recently? (Maybe your own?) Email it to me and it may be featured on an upcoming Daily Fix.
Dating Profile Fix: I Don’t Know What I’m Writing…
April 16, 2009 by E. Foley · Comments Off
You walk into a job interview, shake hands with your potential employer and say, “Well, I don’t really have a resume… and honestly, I’m not sure what I can offer you…”
Wait, you don’t do that?
Welcome to the Daily Fix, where we take snippets from real dating profiles and changes the names to protect the not-so-innocent.
Today’s subject is a 30-something male we’ll call Kevin.
Before:
I’m re-writing this currently. It is very difficult to know what to put into an online dating profile and all that stuff… So stay tuned and there will be something more interesting here soon. How soon, I can not say, but eventually.
What This Says:
This is the equivalent of walking into a job interview with no resume and no idea how you’re going to pitch yourself to your potential employer. Unless you are insanely attractive or your stellar repuation preceeds you, you’re not going to get the job.
What Should He Do?
Make a list of the things that make you interesting and worth getting to know. Tell a story about what makes you tick. Think of it like your movie trailer – your goal is to make people want to buy a ticket to see the movie. Show them some of the coolest parts and get them interested. Don’t be afraid to brag a little.
Seen a bad profile recently? (Maybe your own?) Email it to me and it may be featured on an upcoming Daily Fix.
Dating Profile Fix: Boring or Bad Usernames
April 15, 2009 by E. Foley · Comments Off
Did you know your username is the 2nd most important part of your online dating profile’s first impression?
Welcome to the Daily Fix, where we take snippets from real dating profiles and changes the names to protect the not-so-innocent.
Today I’m not going to feature a particular username. It would be too easy for someone to google up the real person behind it and taunt them, and that just wouldn’t be nice.
Before (Examples of Bad Username Ideas):
- John28270
- QueenRenee
- SexySweet69
- LoveMyJaguar
What These Usernames Say:
- John28270: “I couldn’t come up with anything original. This is my first name and ZIP code.“
- QueenRenee: “I’m high maintenance.”
- SexySweet69: “I’m just here to get laid.”
- LoveMyJaguar: “I’m hoping to attract you by using my wealth.”
What Should You Do?
Pick a username that reflects your personality. It’s fine to include your first name or nickname if you don’t mind sharing that, but find a noun or adjective to include with them. BalletRenee will get more clicks than QueenRenee. TrainerJohn is much easier to relate to than John28270.
Want More?
Here are some great articles about usernames:
- Choosing a Good Online Dating Username is Like Writing a Hit Song
- Quick Fix: Getting a Name Change on Match.com in Under a Minute!
- Don’t be lovemyporsche unless you own one, please.
- Three things that make your dating profile click-worthy
Seen a bad profile recently? (Maybe your own?) Email it to me and it may be featured on an upcoming Daily Fix.
Dating Profile Fix: Your Headline Is Not Witty, Sir.
April 14, 2009 by E. Foley · Comments Off
How do you write a great headline for your online dating profile?
Welcome to the Daily Fix, where we take snippets from real dating profiles and changes the names to protect the not-so-innocent.
Today’s fix is a 20-something guy who we’ll call Jason.
Before:
I’m going to tell you Jason’s headline. Are you ready to hear it? Okay, here goes….
“Headline”
What This Says:
A potential date can interpret this a number of ways:
- “He’s trying to be funny… but it’s not really funny.”
- “Did he just write that as a placeholder and forget to come back?”
- “Headline? What? I don’t get it.”
What Should He Do?
A great headline can be tough to write. When I write profiles, I usually save writing the headline for the very end. By then, there’s something about the profile that speaks to me and the headline pops out on its own.
When in doubt, a line from a favorite song or a quote from a favorite person can work as a headline. Find something that is meaningful for you and share it.
Seen a bad profile recently? (Maybe your own?) Email it to me and it may be featured on an upcoming Daily Fix.
Dating Profile Fix: Rude and Childfree
April 7, 2009 by E. Foley · Comments Off
Welcome to the Daily Fix, where we take snippets from real dating profiles and changes the names to protect the not-so-innocent.
We’ll call today’s fix Ed. Ed is a single (never married) man in his 50s and after reading his marathon of a profile I understand why. I’m focusing on a small snippet here regarding his future mate.
Before:
I am not a soul mate and an epiphany will not occur.
I want a woman who realizes that a fifty year old man will not start a new family. No matter how young he looks or in shape he is.
What This Says:
I’ll hand it to Ed. The man is direct. What you see is what you get.
What Should He Do?
That’s up to Ed. I’ve seen men with totally over-the-top profiles like his do very well. There are a few no-nonsense women out there who might want exactly the type of relationship Ed does.
If he’s not getting any hits at all, I’d recommend softening the blow a little bit by phrasing his original snippet like this:
My ideal match is a woman who has either raised her children or has no desire to have any. She knows there’s more to a happy relationship than a wedding ring and is out to enjoy herself in the moment and live life to the fullest.
Seen a bad profile recently? (Maybe your own?) Email it to me and it may be featured on an upcoming Daily Fix.
Dating Profile Fix: Drinking & Driving with a Shirtless Man
April 4, 2009 by E. Foley · Comments Off
Welcome to the Daily Fix, where we take snippets from real dating profiles and changes the names to protect the not-so-innocent.
Today, we find a 40-something man whose only picture was taken in the bathroom mirror with no shirt on. His ideal first date involves drinking and driving the lovely lady home. Red flags, anyone?
Let’s call him Bob.
Before:
Ideal First Date: Light to medium social drinking or not at all. I will be the one driving you home.
What This Really Says:
“I’m a fan of drinking because it allows me to have the upper hand. Why don’t you get a little tipsy, let me drive you home, invite me in…”
Quick Fix Solution:
Bob, Bob, Bob. Alcohol really doesn’t have a place on a first date. It lowers inhibitions and makes people feel things that are not 100% real. I’m not saying don’t ever drink on a first date. (I love a good glass of riesling!) Just know your limits. Stick to one glass of your preferred beverage and focus on the person you’re meeting.
What should he do? Take out references to drinking on a first date, and PLEASE don’t say you’ll drive the lady home. News Flash: In today’s society, this is really creepy. You might be a wonderful kindhearted man, but we don’t know that yet. We can’t believe that until we meet you. And your perfect lady isn’t going to want to meet you if she thinks you’re going to liquor her up and drive her into the sunset.