Dating Profile Fix: Not-so-Thrilling Thrill Seeker
May 4, 2009 by E. Foley · Comments Off
One of the age old snippets of advice for writing is: “Don’t tell – show.” This advice can go a long way in writing your best online dating profile.
Welcome to the Daily Fix, where we take snippets from real dating profiles and changes the names to protect the not-so-innocent.
Today’s subject is a 40-something man we’ll call Warren.
Before:
I can sometimes be a thrill seeker and enjoy traveling and trying new things.
What This Says:
Not much. Let’s just take “thrill seeker” as an example. That could mean any number of things:
- He likes roller coasters.
- He likes to eat weird foods like that Fear Factor stuff.
- He likes to drive his car way faster than the speed limit.
- He skydives on the weekends.
- He engages in lots of unprotected sex.
I’m sure there are thousands of other “thrill seeker” activities. Some of them are fun, some are not so fun (or legal). What Warren needs to do here is clarify exactly what kind of thrills he likes. This gets women engaged in his story – which is exactly what he wants!
The Fix:
You could call me a thrill seeker – or maybe just a speed seeker. I’m good with my car (no tickets, Mom!) but I’m a sucker for a great roller coaster. I love the old wooden roller coasters, but am enamored with the technology behind all the newest thrill rides. I could spend a whole day at the theme park just riding coasters!
That says a LOT more than just “I’m a thrill seeker.” Women who like roller coasters will be clicking the “Email me!” button. Women who would have moved on because they had a “thrill seeker” of an unsafe variety in the past will know exactly what kind of thrills make Warren happy. Win-win!
Seen a bad profile recently? (Maybe your own?) Email it to me and it may be featured on an upcoming Daily Fix.
Dating Profile Fix: From Laundry List to Sexy Story
April 23, 2009 by E. Foley · Comments Off
It may be tempting to write a list of the things you like in your online dating profile, but what really draws people in is a STORY. What’s the tale of your life?
Welcome to the Daily Fix, where we take snippets from real dating profiles and changes the names to protect the not-so-innocent.
Our subject today is a 20-something lady who we’ll call Patty.
Before:
I DO:
* prefer coke over pepsi…but I will drink both..
* enjoy camping & 4-wheeling with people I love to be with.
* wish I will be happy, and wish everyone good health.
* like to dance on occasion and being silly.
* horsing around/wrestling IS fun! lol
This Is…
There’s nothing wrong with this. It’s good information. It’s positive. It’s cute and friendly. But it could be better!
The Fix:
Patty can incorporate all of these into a story and really draw in her readers.
Getting muddy while 4-wheeling with friends is an awesome way to spend a weekend. Or camping – maybe camping!! Bring on the s’mores and dancing like fools around a campfire under the stars. Crack open a can of Coke (or Pepsi, I’m not too picky) and let’s see who can burp the loudest. Don’t hold back because I’m a girl. I will kick your butt!
Which version of Patty would you email if you had to choose?
Seen a bad profile recently? (Maybe your own?) Email it to me and it may be featured on an upcoming Daily Fix.
Dating Profile Fix: Details Matter, Fill Them In!
April 21, 2009 by E. Foley · Comments Off
Your dating profile shouldn’t be a novel, but it should definitely give potential mates an idea of who you are and why they should contact you.
Welcome to the Daily Fix, where we take snippets from real dating profiles and changes the names to protect the not-so-innocent.
Our subject today is a lovely 50-something retired lady looking for love. Let’s call her Nimue.
Before:
Im an attractive lady looking to find that special someone. Hope he is out there somewhere. I love to travel, both in here and overseas. Enjoy swimming, walking going to the cinema, eating in/out. Also enjoy watching formula 1 racing
What This Says:
Nothing, really. It’s pretty boring. Maybe she might find a fellow racing fan or world traveler. Or maybe not. It’s a snooze-fest.
If people don’t fall in love with your story, they won’t fall in love with you, Nimue. Let’s fix you up…
The Fix:
Retirement has been great to me. I’ve had time to feed my love for travel (both here and overseas), I’ve perfected my breaststroke at the local pool, and I’ve had the time to see all the movies I meant to watch years ago. (Thank you, Netflix!) I’m still looking for a place with great Chinese takeout – do you know of any in the city?
Seen a bad profile recently? (Maybe your own?) Email it to me and it may be featured on an upcoming Daily Fix.