Dating Profile Fix: I Don’t Know What I’m Writing…
You walk into a job interview, shake hands with your potential employer and say, “Well, I don’t really have a resume… and honestly, I’m not sure what I can offer you…”
Wait, you don’t do that?
Welcome to the Daily Fix, where we take snippets from real dating profiles and changes the names to protect the not-so-innocent.
Today’s subject is a 30-something male we’ll call Kevin.
Before:
I’m re-writing this currently. It is very difficult to know what to put into an online dating profile and all that stuff… So stay tuned and there will be something more interesting here soon. How soon, I can not say, but eventually.
What This Says:
This is the equivalent of walking into a job interview with no resume and no idea how you’re going to pitch yourself to your potential employer. Unless you are insanely attractive or your stellar repuation preceeds you, you’re not going to get the job.
What Should He Do?
Make a list of the things that make you interesting and worth getting to know. Tell a story about what makes you tick. Think of it like your movie trailer – your goal is to make people want to buy a ticket to see the movie. Show them some of the coolest parts and get them interested. Don’t be afraid to brag a little.
Seen a bad profile recently? (Maybe your own?) Email it to me and it may be featured on an upcoming Daily Fix.
Dating Profile Fix: Boring or Bad Usernames
Did you know your username is the 2nd most important part of your online dating profile’s first impression?
Welcome to the Daily Fix, where we take snippets from real dating profiles and changes the names to protect the not-so-innocent.
Today I’m not going to feature a particular username. It would be too easy for someone to google up the real person behind it and taunt them, and that just wouldn’t be nice.
Before (Examples of Bad Username Ideas):
- John28270
- QueenRenee
- SexySweet69
- LoveMyJaguar
What These Usernames Say:
- John28270: “I couldn’t come up with anything original. This is my first name and ZIP code.“
- QueenRenee: “I’m high maintenance.”
- SexySweet69: “I’m just here to get laid.”
- LoveMyJaguar: “I’m hoping to attract you by using my wealth.”
What Should You Do?
Pick a username that reflects your personality. It’s fine to include your first name or nickname if you don’t mind sharing that, but find a noun or adjective to include with them. BalletRenee will get more clicks than QueenRenee. TrainerJohn is much easier to relate to than John28270.
Want More?
Here are some great articles about usernames:
- Choosing a Good Online Dating Username is Like Writing a Hit Song
- Quick Fix: Getting a Name Change on Match.com in Under a Minute!
- Don’t be lovemyporsche unless you own one, please.
- Three things that make your dating profile click-worthy
Seen a bad profile recently? (Maybe your own?) Email it to me and it may be featured on an upcoming Daily Fix.
Dating Profile Fix: Your Headline Is Not Witty, Sir.
How do you write a great headline for your online dating profile?
Welcome to the Daily Fix, where we take snippets from real dating profiles and changes the names to protect the not-so-innocent.
Today’s fix is a 20-something guy who we’ll call Jason.
Before:
I’m going to tell you Jason’s headline. Are you ready to hear it? Okay, here goes….
“Headline”
What This Says:
A potential date can interpret this a number of ways:
- “He’s trying to be funny… but it’s not really funny.”
- “Did he just write that as a placeholder and forget to come back?”
- “Headline? What? I don’t get it.”
What Should He Do?
A great headline can be tough to write. When I write profiles, I usually save writing the headline for the very end. By then, there’s something about the profile that speaks to me and the headline pops out on its own.
When in doubt, a line from a favorite song or a quote from a favorite person can work as a headline. Find something that is meaningful for you and share it.
Seen a bad profile recently? (Maybe your own?) Email it to me and it may be featured on an upcoming Daily Fix.
Dating Profile Fix: Bad Group Pictures with Blurry Friends
What do you do when you’re flipping through your digital photos and the only good pictures of you are with other people?
Welcome to the Daily Fix, where we take snippets from real dating profiles and changes the names to protect the not-so-innocent.
Today’s fix is a 20-something lady who we’ll call Isabelle.
Before:
Isabelle has a dozen pictures on her profile. All but one are in groups of people. In one photo, she did this little bit of Photoshop on a blonde friend (I’ve taken the liberty of chopping Isabelle out of the picture.):
What This Says:
I have to applaud Isabelle for consulting her friends about using their photos in her profile. That’s the only reason I can think of to explain why the blonde friend is blurred while the others are not.
There are a couple red flags going on in her photos, however.
- Multiple group shots implies a “party girl”. Party girl is seen as synonymous with “drama queen” in the eyes of most men.
- The thought will be in his mind… “When she dumps me, will I get blurred out in her new set of online dating photos?“
What Should She Do?
Three words: Take new pictures.
You really only need four or five pictures on your dating profile:
- Close-up of your face.
- Full body shot. (Girls – no bathing suits. Guys – Keep your shirt on.)
- You enjoying a hobby. (Do you cook? Play music? Build things?)
- Personal choice (group shot if you want).
- Personal choice (or limit it to four pictures).
Isabelle needs to take out her group shots (especially the one with the blurred-out blonde) and replace them with pictures of just herself. She’ll find she gets a lot more replies from men looking for real relationships.
Seen a bad profile recently? (Maybe your own?) Email it to me and it may be featured on an upcoming Daily Fix.
Dating Profile Fix: You Like Walks On The Beach, Too?
How do you make your profile stand out among the fish in the sea? Sure it’s fine and good to list the things you love about life, but do it in a way that makes you uniquely you.
Welcome to the Daily Fix, where we take snippets from real dating profiles and changes the names to protect the not-so-innocent.
Today’s fix is a 30-something lady who we’ll call Hannah. Her profile is full of cliches. All of them.
Before:
It is very important to me to enjoy life and live my dreams. I’m looking for someone that has an upbeat attitude about life and a great sense of humor. I like to laugh, take in the beauty of peace, and try new things. My hobbies include traveling whether a long distance or a day trip. I enjoy the outdoors, photography, and the movies.
What This Says:
Let’s list some of her profile items:
- Enjoy life – Who doesn’t like to enjoy life?
- Live my dreams – Most people attempt this, too.
- Like to laugh – Are there people who hate to laugh?
- Take in the beauty of peace – Not sure what exactly she’s talking about here, but I doubt you’ll find people who don’t like peace.
What Should She Do?
Hannah needs to write more specifics about her life. For example:
“I practice yoga every morning and find it makes me peaceful and more flexible – a great combination!”
That’s a good way to describe the “beauty of peace”, right?
“On rainy days, I watch hours of Comedy Central and laugh until it hurts. South Park fans should definitely email me!”
Hannah will find she gets more attention if she uses specifics in her profile that really describe who she is as a person and the type of man she’s trying to attract.
Seen a bad profile recently? (Maybe your own?) Email it to me and it may be featured on an upcoming Daily Fix.
Dating Websites
General Dating
Match.com
I’ve tried them all, and match is the one I keep coming back to again and again. Lots of people, a great interface, and it just flat out works when you know how to work it!
Chemistry.com
If you feel you’d like the eHarmony approach (without the eHarmony rejection!!) try match.com’s Chemistry service for help finding the match that’s best for you:
Lavalife
Lavalife has been around for a long time.
Dating for the Religious
Christian Cafe
The premier site for Christian dating. A friendly community with a focus on faith-based matches.
JDate
Jewish singles… look no further. This is the place for you:
Christians Mingle
A site in the Spark Network that focuses on Christian Singles.
Free Dating
Online Dating Portrait Photography
Dating Profile Fix: No Shoes, No Picture, No Love?
What do you do if you have an online dating profile but don’t put up a picture? Is it possible to be successful? Should you mention why you don’t have a photo?
Welcome to the Daily Fix, where we take snippets from real dating profiles and changes the names to protect the not-so-innocent.
Today’s fix is a 20-something lady who we’ll call Gina. Miss Gina doesn’t have a photo on her dating profile, and here’s what she says about it:
Before:
I’m not going to put a pic up until I decide if I really want to go all-in on this, but I’m ok with emailing one.
What This Says:
“I’m not committed to this process. In fact, I may still be married or otherwise attached and afraid I’d be caught if my photo were up here. Let’s keep this discreet.”
What Should She Do?
Gina should try something more along this line:
“I’m sorry that I haven’t posted a picture, but I’d be more than happy to send one to you if you email me.”
Short and sweet. You don’t have to qualify the statement.
BUT! If you have no photo, be prepared to be the one who initiates conversation with people. Profiles with photos are seen more often in searches, so you’ll be all sad and alone if you just sit and wait for love to find you. Get out there, send some emails:
“Hi John, my name is Gina! I’m a Red Sox fan too! I don’t have a picture on my profile, but will be happy to send you one if you write me back. I’m 5’3″, very petite, with shoulder length brown hair and glasses. If you’re at the game tomorrow, look for me! I’ll be the one jumping up and down and screaming myself hoarse.”
No profile picture doesn’t have to be a problem!
You may want to read these related articles at my blog, Geek’s Dream Girl:
- Secret Agent Man: How to Survive Online Dating without a Profile Picture
- Online Dating Etiquette 101: Privacy vs. Honesty?
- Tips & Tricks for Great Online Dating Portraits
- OMG, You’re Naked! Or, Online Dating Privacy
Seen a bad profile recently? (Maybe your own?) Email it to me and it may be featured on an upcoming Daily Fix.
Dating Profile Fix: Lying About Your Age
She’s lying about her age in her online dating profile. Is this acceptable or a big no-no? Why do people do that?
Welcome to the Daily Fix, where we take snippets from real dating profiles and changes the names to protect the not-so-innocent.
We’ll call today’s subject Frannie. She’s a 40-something female who lists her age on her profile as 35. She goes on to explain her lie in her profile:
Before:
I am 41 years of age…and I am TIRED of 54 year old men writing to me! That is why I listed my age younger…so I can at least be found in searches again…It’s up to you now if you would like to get to know me…
What This Says:
“I’m a liar. I lie to get what I want. I’ll probably admit I lied, but there may be times I won’t. I did it so I would be found in search results, which means I want you to do all the work in finding me. I don’t have any intention of putting my own effort into finding the man of my dreams.”
What Should She Do?
Fess up, Frannie. You’re 41. If you’re 41 and want to play the cougar, the first step is to be honest and embrace your cougarhood. You are 41 and you’re looking for young guys. Change your age in your stats to your real age and your first paragraph to something like this:
It’s taken 41 years for me to evolve into the sexy, fun, confident woman that I am today, but my tastes in men haven’t grown up. (Nor will they!) I like my men younger so they can keep up with my lifestyle. My ideal match has a bedtime in the wee hours of the morning and wakes up the next morning thinking, “Damn! That was a great night! I wish I remembered more about it…”
The next step, Frannie, is to get off your butt and FIND those guys. They aren’t going to come flocking to you in masses because not all of them know they’d have the time of their lives with you. It’s up to you to convince them of that.
Too hard? You’ll just have to settle for who you get with minimal effort. Hope you like 54 year olds!
Seen a bad profile recently? (Maybe your own?) Email it to me and it may be featured on an upcoming Daily Fix.
Dating Profile Fix: Rude and Childfree
Welcome to the Daily Fix, where we take snippets from real dating profiles and changes the names to protect the not-so-innocent.
We’ll call today’s fix Ed. Ed is a single (never married) man in his 50s and after reading his marathon of a profile I understand why. I’m focusing on a small snippet here regarding his future mate.
Before:
I am not a soul mate and an epiphany will not occur.
I want a woman who realizes that a fifty year old man will not start a new family. No matter how young he looks or in shape he is.
What This Says:
I’ll hand it to Ed. The man is direct. What you see is what you get.
What Should He Do?
That’s up to Ed. I’ve seen men with totally over-the-top profiles like his do very well. There are a few no-nonsense women out there who might want exactly the type of relationship Ed does.
If he’s not getting any hits at all, I’d recommend softening the blow a little bit by phrasing his original snippet like this:
My ideal match is a woman who has either raised her children or has no desire to have any. She knows there’s more to a happy relationship than a wedding ring and is out to enjoy herself in the moment and live life to the fullest.
Seen a bad profile recently? (Maybe your own?) Email it to me and it may be featured on an upcoming Daily Fix.
Dating Profile Fix: My Pastor Says I’m Intense
Welcome to the Daily Fix, where we take snippets from real dating profiles and changes the names to protect the not-so-innocent.
Today’s fix is for a 20-something woman who we’ll call Danielle. She’s a Christian, “but not in that Bible-thumping kind of way” and she’s just looking for a good Christian man who can handle her intense personality.
Is there such a thing as too intense? Maybe.
Before:
I’m pretty intense, so you need to be able to handle that. I don’t back down easily, but enjoy “robust conversation” as my pastor says.
What This Says:
“I am right. You are wrong. Don’t even try to argue with this wall!”
What Should She Do?
There are better ways of saying that you’re passionate without raising the red flag that you’re stubborn and argumentative.
How about this instead:
I’m passionate about many things and enjoy a good debate that allows me to explore all sides of a topic. It’s even better if we can close out the restaurant (or have the waitress join in on the debate!).
Just that simple tweak will help Danielle attract many more men than she is now. Pretty easy, isn’t it?
Seen a bad profile recently? (Maybe your own?) Email it to me and it may be featured on an upcoming Daily Fix.