Dating Profile Fix: Angry Parent
There’s being a parent and then there is being an angry Mama Bear that nobody wants to get close to for fear of losing a limb.
Welcome to the Daily Fix, where we take snippets from real dating profiles and changes the names to protect the not-so-innocent.
Today’s subject is a 30-something lady who we’ll call Uma.
Before:
I’ll start by saying if you don’t like children you can move along. I have the most beautiful little girl anyone could ask for and no one comes before her.
What This Says:
“Rawr! I’m a Mama Bear! Don’t you get near me or my cub!”
The Fix:
You can be a proud parent without being a scary Mama Bear. Believe me, most men who don’t want kids are going to pick up the fact that you have a beautiful little girl and go running in the other direction. You may get a couple who won’t read your profile, but you’ll get that no matter what. It’s par for the course (especially if you’re really pretty).
All Uma needs to do to fix up her profile is delete the first sentence. Starting your profile off with the beautiful little girl who is the center of her world will drive away the guys who don’t like kids just fine. Bonus: It won’t scare the rest of the guys off who think she’s got a bad Mama Bear attitude.
Seen a bad profile recently? (Maybe your own?) Email it to me and it may be featured on an upcoming Daily Fix.
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Dating Profile Fix: Cliches and Contradictions
If I had a nickel for every dating profile that read like a laundry list of cliches, I’d be able to retire on my own private island.
Welcome to the Daily Fix, where we take snippets from real dating profiles and changes the names to protect the not-so-innocent.
Today’s subject is a 20-something lady who we’ll call Trish.
Before:
- I’m a country girl at heart that loves spending her evenings in the city on occasion.
- I do enjoy going out to the clubs on occasion, but it’s not something I want to do for life. I want someone that is content sitting at home watching movies and making dinner together.
- I love spending time with friends and keeping it low-key, but I don’t mind hitting the town if the occasion calls for it.
What This Says:
Simply translated, this is what Trish is saying:
- I like the country and sometimes the city.
- I like going out and sometimes staying in.
- I like staying in and sometimes going out.
I think pretty much every human being (unless they are a hermit) can agree to these things. This doesn’t make Trish unique or interesting in the slightest.
What Should She Do?
Trish needs to think long and hard about what makes her unique and interesting. What are the types of things she does when she’s out with friends? Do they have a contest to see who can stand up on the Metro the longest with no hands? (The key is a low center of gravity. Squat and win!) Is she a champion apple pie baker?
Everyone has something unique and interesting about them that makes them attractive, interesting, and appealing. What’s yours?
Seen a bad profile recently? (Maybe your own?) Email it to me and it may be featured on an upcoming Daily Fix.
Dating Profile Fix: The Department of Redundancy Department
One of the hallmarks of good writing is that it can say a lot in very few words. (There are some exceptions to this, like Dickens, but it depends on what you happen to like in literature.)
What happens when your dating profile goes way too long?
Welcome to the Daily Fix, where we take snippets from real dating profiles and changes the names to protect the not-so-innocent.
Today’s subject is a 20-something lady who we’ll call Stacy.
Before:
I like doing little things for people. I consider my day a success if I’ve made someone elses day better. I am very big into little things. I like writing people notes, sending random text messages, making someone dinner or snacks and giving massages. I think the little things that take time, effort and thought mean so much more. I love doing that for others and I really want someone who will do that for me.
What This Says:
The same thing. Over and over and over and over and over…
The Fix:
Whether it’s by sending a supportive text message or making a home-cooked meal, I believe in taking the time to do the little things that let people know how much they mean to me.
Short, sweet, and sooooo much better.
Seen a bad profile recently? (Maybe your own?) Email it to me and it may be featured on an upcoming Daily Fix.
Dating Profile Fix: The Dreaded M Word Isn’t Marriage!
Did you know that there’s a scarier word in your dating profile than “marriage“? It’s driving people away from your profile in droves… even the ones who would be a great fit for you.
Welcome to the Daily Fix, where we take snippets from real dating profiles and changes the names to protect the not-so-innocent.
Today’s subject is a 40-something lady who we’ll call Renee.
Before:
Anyone with any drama in their lives need not respond. In this day and age, I believe in monogamy. If you can make me laugh continuously, treat me like a lady, but most of all, be a warm and caring human being, then I would enjoy talking with you first.
What This Says:
“I’ve been cheated on before.”
“I attract cheaters and losers.”
“I’ll talk to you FIRST if you seem better, but I may have to fall back on these other options.”
The Fix:
The scary “M” word is monogamy. Take it out!! Saying you’re into monogamy sends up red flags that you’ve been in relationships that have been less than monogamous. Even if you have, the time to discuss that is LATER, not now.
I’m looking for a life partner – my best friend who will be by my side through everything life has to throw at us. He’s a warm and caring man who loves to make me laugh and he believes (like I do) that it’s possible to find The One after 40!
Seen a bad profile recently? (Maybe your own?) Email it to me and it may be featured on an upcoming Daily Fix.
Dating Profile Fix: ALL CAPS NO PUNCTUATION MAN
The internet has been around for a while. Those of us who have been keeping up with the Fashion Train know that we should never use ALL CAPS when typing. We also know to use punctuation. But sadly, not everyone is on the train…
Welcome to the Daily Fix, where we take snippets from real dating profiles and changes the names to protect the not-so-innocent.
Today’s subject is a barely legal male we’ll call Quinn.
Before:
I JUST LOOKIN FOR SOMEONE WHO CAN KEEP IT REAL BEST BELIEVE IM GOING KEEP IT REAL I LIKE AN OUT GOING PERSON AND SOMEBOBY WHO LIKE HAVING FUN AND KNOW WHAT TEY WANT IN LIFE AND SOMEONE OF GOT A GOOD HEAD ON THEIR SHOULDER…
What This Says:
It’s taken me several read-throughs to figure it out. I can’t focus on ALL CAPS to be able to read what he’s saying. Let me type it out for you all normal:
I just lookin for someone who can keep it real best believe Im going to keep it real i like an out going person and someboby who like having fun and know what tey want in life and someone of got a good head on their shoulder.
You know, that still doesn’t make much more sense. Perhaps I am too old to understand the lingo. (Is 30 old?)
The Fix:
Quinn’s profile could at least stand to have proper spelling, grammar, and punctuation. He can keep his hip lingo (since he probably wants a girl who shares the same vibe).
I’m looking for someone who can keep it real. Believe me that I’m going to keep it real, too. I like an outgoing girl who likes to have fun, but also knows what she wants in life. She’s a party girl with her head on her shoulders.
Still Quinn, just much easier to read.
Seen a bad profile recently? (Maybe your own?) Email it to me and it may be featured on an upcoming Daily Fix.
Dating Profile Fix: From Laundry List to Sexy Story
It may be tempting to write a list of the things you like in your online dating profile, but what really draws people in is a STORY. What’s the tale of your life?
Welcome to the Daily Fix, where we take snippets from real dating profiles and changes the names to protect the not-so-innocent.
Our subject today is a 20-something lady who we’ll call Patty.
Before:
I DO:
* prefer coke over pepsi…but I will drink both..
* enjoy camping & 4-wheeling with people I love to be with.
* wish I will be happy, and wish everyone good health.
* like to dance on occasion and being silly.
* horsing around/wrestling IS fun! lol
This Is…
There’s nothing wrong with this. It’s good information. It’s positive. It’s cute and friendly. But it could be better!
The Fix:
Patty can incorporate all of these into a story and really draw in her readers.
Getting muddy while 4-wheeling with friends is an awesome way to spend a weekend. Or camping – maybe camping!! Bring on the s’mores and dancing like fools around a campfire under the stars. Crack open a can of Coke (or Pepsi, I’m not too picky) and let’s see who can burp the loudest. Don’t hold back because I’m a girl. I will kick your butt!
Which version of Patty would you email if you had to choose?
Seen a bad profile recently? (Maybe your own?) Email it to me and it may be featured on an upcoming Daily Fix.
Dating Profile Fix: Dealbreakers Minus the Bad Attitude
You have some dealbreakers. How do you state them without sounding like you have a nasty attitude?
Welcome to the Daily Fix, where we take snippets from real dating profiles and changes the names to protect the not-so-innocent.
Today we have a 40-something woman who we’ll call Ophelia.
Before:
What I dislike: People that don’t like animals, people that neglect their pets, small talk, laziness, impertinence, people without a sense of humour, people without a moral compass, people that litter…Oh and bad drivers..they just tick me off!
What This Says:
“I have a long list of things that annoy me. There’s probably more I’m not telling you and one of your habits is probably on this list.”
The Fix:
There’s a way to scare away your dealbreaker people without frightening the rest of the world in the process. For example, Ophelia hates people who litter. She could scare away litterbugs with a simple statement like:
“A walk in the park involves a garbage bag. I’m always happy when I can get exercise and make the environment a little cleaner in the process.“
This will scare away litterbugs AND have the added bonus of drawing in men who share her green views!
Seen a bad profile recently? (Maybe your own?) Email it to me and it may be featured on an upcoming Daily Fix.
Dating Profile Fix: Details Matter, Fill Them In!
Your dating profile shouldn’t be a novel, but it should definitely give potential mates an idea of who you are and why they should contact you.
Welcome to the Daily Fix, where we take snippets from real dating profiles and changes the names to protect the not-so-innocent.
Our subject today is a lovely 50-something retired lady looking for love. Let’s call her Nimue.
Before:
Im an attractive lady looking to find that special someone. Hope he is out there somewhere. I love to travel, both in here and overseas. Enjoy swimming, walking going to the cinema, eating in/out. Also enjoy watching formula 1 racing
What This Says:
Nothing, really. It’s pretty boring. Maybe she might find a fellow racing fan or world traveler. Or maybe not. It’s a snooze-fest.
If people don’t fall in love with your story, they won’t fall in love with you, Nimue. Let’s fix you up…
The Fix:
Retirement has been great to me. I’ve had time to feed my love for travel (both here and overseas), I’ve perfected my breaststroke at the local pool, and I’ve had the time to see all the movies I meant to watch years ago. (Thank you, Netflix!) I’m still looking for a place with great Chinese takeout – do you know of any in the city?
Seen a bad profile recently? (Maybe your own?) Email it to me and it may be featured on an upcoming Daily Fix.
Dating Profile Fix: Finish Strong!
Every once in a while I run into a profile where I’m thinking, “Yes, yes, yes…” because it’s pretty good. Then I read an ending that makes me sigh. Nooo.
Welcome to the Daily Fix, where we take snippets from real dating profiles and changes the names to protect the not-so-innocent.
Today’s subject is a 40-something male who we’ll call Marcus.
Before:
You should message me if you think I am attractive or interesting or charming. Seriously, what are the consequences of saying hello? I love meeting new people and I might turn out to be someone fun to talk to or whine to or laugh with. I could also turn out to be a turn off but at least you said hi to a stranger. You can’t meet people if you never say hello.
What This Does:
Marcus had a very strong, witty, funny, and generally great profile before this bit at the end. He had a nice confident vibe going. The paragraph here dilutes it by admitting he may be a turn-off.
Marcus, if you are a turn-off, the lady wouldn’t have gotten this far down your profile. Have some faith and finish strong.
A Better Ending:
You should message me if you think I am attractive, interesting or charming. I love meeting new people and you may just find me to be that person who fits your life perfectly. Go on, say hi to a stranger. You never know who you may meet.
Seen a bad profile recently? (Maybe your own?) Email it to me and it may be featured on an upcoming Daily Fix.
Dating Profile Fix: Get a Little Help From Your Friends!
OkCupid is infamous for their super-long profiles. There’s a category for everything you could possibly want to know about someone. So what happens when you don’t know an answer?
Welcome to the Daily Fix, where we take snippets from real dating profiles and changes the names to protect the not-so-innocent.
Today’s subject is a 30-something male we’ll call Lamar.
Before:
Here’s what Lamar wrote for “The First Thing People Notice About Me“:
i have no clue
What This Says:
“I have no friends.”
“There’s nothing unique about me.”
What Should He Do?
Lamar, here is where you need to talk to some of your friends. It’s pretty easy.
Say: “Hey (insert friend name here), what did you first notice about me when we met?”
Hopefully they say something nice like “your bright red hair” or “your big smile” or “your laugh.” If they say, “The girl you were dating was hot!” or “That you can really hold your liquor!” maybe you should move on to a different friend.
Either way, do some market research! Find out how other people perceive you and use it to your advantage.
Seen a bad profile recently? (Maybe your own?) Email it to me and it may be featured on an upcoming Daily Fix.