Before & After: Pirate Lover
Before:
Romance is Adventure.
My ideal date therefore includes a pirate attack.
I don’t like long walks along the beach.
There’s so many more interesting things you can do there. You can play Frisbee. Fly a kite. Lie in the sun and read a good book. Build Sand castles. Dig for seashells. Dig for buried treasure. Dig a hole and bury your friends.
You can long conversations about current events. Or sea monsters. Or the geological processes that caused the beach to form in the first place. Or one of those twisty-turny conversations that starts with some innocent topic like the weather, but then goes off on tangent after tangent and suddenly you’re yelling at the top of your lungs about how Winston Churchill could totally kick Darth Vader’s butt, and everyone else on the beach is staring at you.
Or you could go for a swim. Or you could try to learn to surf, but never manage to catch a wave, accidentally swallow several gallons of seawater, and exclaim (with mock indignity) that you’ve never been so miserable (But then show up the next day, ready for another go).
Or the moon could be out, the stars could be shining, and you could be lying in the cool, wet sand with the man you love. You’d look deeply into his eyes, and he’d gaze into yours. Then you’d slowly lean forward, your lips coming together in a passionate kiss.
And then you’d giggle uncontrollably, because you got sand in your shorts.
After:
How cool it would be if our date were crashed by pirates?
Imagine if you will, a beautiful beach scene. But we’re not walking hand in hand, nope, that’s for boring people. We’re better than that. We’re playing Frisbee, flying a kite, having an epic sandcastle-building contest, or digging for long lost pirate treasures. We’re talking about current events, the geology of beaches, or arguing over who would win in a cage fight between Winston Churchill and Darth Vader. Everyone on the beach is staring at us, but don’t worry, it’s because they’re jealous!
I’m the type of guy who swallows gallons of seawater learning how to surf. I exclaim with mock indignity that I’ve never been so miserable, but then show up the next day, ready to do it all over again! Sucker for punishment or just tenacious? You decide! Let’s get together sometime – I can make an adventure out of the ordinary and would love to have someone along for the ride! Whether it’s pondering the Grand Slam at Denny’s at 2 a.m. or laughing hysterically with sand in our shorts at the beach, I’m up for it. Are you?